What is prayer?
Essentially, prayer is communication with God. It is the means whereby we talk with God, and he answers us through conviction and his word. More specifically, prayer is us talking to God, and Scripture is God talking to us.
We sometimes think that prayer is initiated by us. But this is an incomplete view. Prayer is motivated in us by the Holy Spirit. In many cases in the Bible, prayer is preceded by an act or the speech of God.
- God spoke to Adam and Eve before they spoke to him (Genesis 1:28-30).
- God spoke to Abraham before Abraham spoke to him (Genesis 12:1-3).
- God spoke to Jacob on his journey before Jacob prayed to him (Genesis 28:10-22).
- God called Moses before Moses called to God (Exodus 3:1-6).
- God spoke to David about his legacy before David spoke to him in gratitude (II Samuel 7:8-29).
What prayer is not. Prayer is not a way to manipulate God into getting what you want. We often think that prayer is us asking God for things. And there’s a realm where some of that is true, but that is not the focus of true prayer. The focus of true prayer is to get to know the one true, living God and his will for our lives.
Prayer as battle. While prayer is a function of our relationship with God, prayer is also a function of spiritual warfare, of battle. We experience this when we pray for others who are having a difficult time or when we are having a difficult time. When someone is struggling with temptation or sin, prayer is often engaged in to win the battle against that temptation. When we pray for others who are going through great difficulty, we sometimes wrestle with God or with that situation in prayer for the other’s benefit. Paul tells us in Romans 8:26 that “We do not know how to pray as we ought, but that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” That is a form of battle prayer. He does battle with us.
Types of prayer: Praise, gratitude, intercession, requests, surrender, repentance.
Praise is when we give God glory for who he is, how he behaves, and what he is like. We praise God because he’s faithful, good, true, glorious, and sovereign.
Gratitude is when we thank him for what he does in our lives or in the lives of others.
Intercession is when we pray for others for their benefit rather than our own. Jesus, the Scripture says, is our great intercessor.
Then there are requests, the things that we ask God for in our lives. These could be related to our family and relationships, our jobs and careers, or anything that we want to bring before God to ask him about. Jesus said we should bring all things to God in a matter of prayer. “If you remain in Me, and My words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you” (John 15:7).
And there is surrender, when God convicts us of sin in our lives or some things that we need to acquiesce to, and we surrender to God, according to his will.
This is closely related to repentance. Repentance is when we declare to God that we are sorry for the sin we have committed, and we decide to turn and go in another direction away from sin and do his will and righteousness.
Role in prayer: As a priest, as an intermediary. One of our roles in prayer is to pray for others as Jesus prays for us and as the Holy Spirit prays for us. This is the function of an intermediary. In this sense, we act as a priest coming before God on behalf of others. There may be no higher role that we can occupy in our Christian life than when we pray for others. “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. A prayer of a righteous person, when it is brought about, can accomplish much” (James 5:16).
Why should we pray?
The greatest reason to engage in daily prayer is to grow in our relationship with God. In one sense, our relationship with God is like any other. It requires that we spend time getting to know God through his word and through prayer. We must be intentional in our relationship with God just as we must be intentional in our relationship with others.
Imagine you had a marriage where you rarely spoke to your spouse. The relationship would not be very close, would it? No. We must communicate with our spouse to grow in the relationship. And the same is true with God. If you want to have an intimate relationship with God, you must speak with him in prayer on a regular basis and spend time in his word, getting to know him better and what he is like.
Part of prayer is discovering God’s will and reshaping our will. We often have very different ideas about what we want in our lives and in the lives of others. When we pray about those things, we are seeking God’s will for those situations, and in the process we are reshaping our will to be in line with his. If we only concentrate on what we want, only on our will, then our relationship with God isn’t as strong as it could be. That’s part of the reason for prayer: reshaping our will to be in line with God’s will.
Wrong motivations for prayer. There are some things that we should just not pray for. There are other things we pray for that are focused only on our desires and wants, but not what God wants for our lives. Sometimes we pray for a better job. That’s OK. Sometimes we pray for more money for a situation. That’s OK. But sometimes we pray for things that we should not have. We should check ourselves to make sure that our motivations for prayer are right in God‘s eyes. Praying for sin or getting away with sin is not something that God will honor. It’s like the question that is asked, “Will God forgive me if I do this or that?” The response to that question is, “What sin are you trying to get away with?” If something is not according to God‘s will, and we know it, then we should not pray for that unless we are praying in repentance.
When should we pray?
The obvious answer to this question is that we should pray all the time. But in reality, people don’t really pray all the time, do they? Therefore, it’s wise to have certain times set aside for prayer and Bible study. Why do we do this? To build good spiritual habits. Think about how you carry out other functions in your life.
You set aside certain times for work, whether it be at your job or at home. We set aside certain times for family meals to spend time together. If we are in school, we set aside certain times for study. We always set aside certain times in our lives for certain functions. This should be no less true with prayer and the Scripture. If we want the most out of our relationship with God, we need to set aside time to spend with him.
Ask yourself, when is the best time to set aside time to give God the attention he deserves? I don’t mean, when is it convenient for you? I mean, when can you set aside time in your day to give God the priority that he deserves? When you make Jesus Christ the number one priority in your life, you will naturally want to set aside time for him where he is the most important part of your day.
The Scripture constantly encourages us to set aside time for the Lord in the morning, before we engage in other things.
The Psalmist declared, “O God, You are my God; Early will I seek You; my soul thirsts for You” (Psalm 63:1).
“My voice You shall hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning I will direct it to You, and I will look up” (Psalm 5:3).
“It is good to give thanks to the LORD, and to sing praises to Your name, O Most High; to declare Your lovingkindness in the morning, and Your faithfulness every night” (Psalm 92:1-2).
Where should we pray?
In some other religions, prayer is tied to a specific location. For instance, in Islam, prayers are prayed toward Mecca, the holy city of Islam. However, in the scripture, prayer is not tied to a place but to a person. There is no command in scripture that prayer should be oriented toward a place or must happen in a certain place. Prayer simply must happen wherever we are.
Find a place where you can pray uninterrupted or undistracted, where nothing can take your attention away from the Lord. Jesus often retreated from his disciples where he could pray alone. “So He Himself often withdrew into the wilderness and prayed” (Luke 5:16).
How does God respond to prayer?
The Scripture is filled with God responding to the prayers of his people. Sometimes those responses are negative and sometimes positive. There were times when God told a prophet not to pray for certain people because of unrepentant sin. Consider these examples:
- Jeremiah was told by God, “Do not pray for this people, nor lift up a cry or prayer for them, nor make intercession to Me; for I will not hear you” (Jeremiah 7:16).
- God rejected prayers for King Saul. “How long will you mourn for Saul, seeing I have rejected him from reigning over Israel?” (I Samuel 16:1).
- God rejected one of Moses’s prayers. “I pray, let me cross over and see the good land beyond the Jordan…the LORD said to me: ‘Enough of that! Speak no more to Me of this matter’” (Deuteronomy 3:25-26).
- Unrepentant sin is usually the reason God will not listen to some prayers. “Even though you make many prayers, I will not hear. Your hands are full of blood” (Isaiah 1:15).
- Even the Apostle Paul experienced a negative answer to his prayer for healing. God told him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness” (II Corinthians 12:9).
Thankfully, there are many times when God responds positively to prayer.
- When Hezekiah prayed and asked the Lord to save his life, God responded by saying, “I will add fifteen years to your life” (II Kings 20:6).
- When David asked the Lord if the people of Keilah would hand him over to Saul, God responded, “They will hand you over” (I Samuel 23:12). So David fled.
- When Jesus was troubled about his impending suffering, he prayed, “Father, glorify Your name.” Then a voice came out of heaven: “I have both glorified it, and will glorify it again” (John 12:28).
- When Paul and his companions were facing shipwreck, God answered Paul’s prayers by saying, “God has graciously granted you all those who are sailing with you” (Acts 27:24).
The important thing to remember about prayer is that we pray by faith, not by feelings. Sometimes when we pray, all of us experience some kind of disconnection. Sometimes it’s because God is so great above us. We wonder how we can ever be connected to the God of the universe. And other times, our sin impedes our prayers. No matter what we are facing, we must face it by faith, by faith in God, who hears our prayers through Christ and will answer according to his will. Focus not on what you feel, but on what you know. And we can know that God hears us because his word promises that he hears us.
What does prayer do for us or in us?
When we pray, over time, there are two things that happen in us or to us. First, we become more mature in Christ. Second, our wills are molded to become like God’s will.
Prayer makes us more mature in Christ because biblical prayer does more than change circumstances—it changes the person praying. As we pray, our desires, priorities, character, and understanding of God increasingly come into alignment with Christ.
Here are some of the major ways Scripture connects prayer with spiritual maturity.
Prayer teaches us dependence on God.
Jesus taught His disciples to pray, “Give us day by day our daily bread” (Luke 11:3). Prayer repeatedly reminds us that we are creatures, not sovereigns. Mature Christians increasingly recognize their dependence upon God rather than relying exclusively upon their own strength, wisdom, or resources. Consider John 15:5: “Without Me you can do nothing.”
Prayer brings our will into submission to God’s will.
Gethsemane may be Scripture’s greatest example. Jesus prayed: “Nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done” (Luke 22:42).
One of prayer’s purposes is therefore not simply getting God to agree with us. It is learning to agree with God.
Prayer changes what we desire.
Jesus begins the Lord’s Prayer with God’s name, kingdom, and will before addressing our personal needs (Matthew 6:9-10). That ordering is significant. Prayer trains us to become concerned with God’s priorities. The mature believer doesn’t merely ask, “What can God do for me?” He increasingly asks, “What does God desire to accomplish through me?”
How can WE build strong habits of prayer?
There are several tools that you can use inside of Scripture and outside of Scripture to augment your prayer life. For instance, many people keep a list of things that they pray for. This is very practical. Sometimes there are so many things to pray for that we can’t keep track of them all without a list. There is nothing unspiritual about using a prayer list. It is simply a reminder of who and what you are praying for so that you don’t forget anyone.
Another tool is to have a prayer partner or multiple partners that you pray with from time to time or that you keep accountability with in your prayer life. Many people find this helpful to remind them to pray for certain people or with certain people.
There are also tools in the Scripture. We can use prayers in Scripture, like in the book of Psalms or the Lord‘s prayer in Matthew or Paul’s prayers, as a model for how you and I are to pray. These things can be very helpful to us when we find ourselves at a loss about how to pray for certain things.
But you should be careful not to let your prayers become rote prayers or just a ritual. I don’t recommend praying long prayers that are written down in full. Because they often keep us from praying from the heart. Instead, use a list: a few people or things you’re praying for, and then pray around those things. Ritualistic prayers or repeating rote prayers over and over don’t make us more spiritual. Jesus even talked about this in Matthew 6:7. “And when you are praying, do not use thoughtless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard because of their many words.”
Prayer should come from the heart. Share with God the things that are on your mind. He may already know what you’re going to pray, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pray it anyway. He wants us to address him about the things that are close to our hearts.
A personal testimony: My experience with prayer.
I’ve had up-and-down experiences with prayer. When I was first a believer, I spent every morning on my knees for at least half an hour in prayer. As I got older, I let other interests take my attention, especially my work, and I spent less time in prayer. At one point, I set an alarm on my watch so that at the top of every hour I prayed for a few minutes. But eventually, my prayer life dwindled to almost zero. I thought, if God is already going to do his will anyway, why should I pray about that? For many years, even in ministry, I went without daily prayer. And my spiritual life suffered as a result. In 2008, the stress and mental illness took their toll on me, and I was reduced to nothing; I had nowhere to look but up, and God restored my spiritual life. Since then, I spend every day in prayer.
I have a morning routine. I rise early to have my alone time with the Lord. I spend time in prayer and Bible reading or study. It is the priority of my day. If my workday has to start earlier than usual, then I get up earlier to pray. It is my priority. Then, throughout the day, I have short moments of prayer as the day progresses.
I have a list of people and things that I pray through each day. Because there are so many things, I rotate through areas of prayer: family, friends, missions, church issues and people, and my ministry. Some days I pray for others in great detail. Other days I pray in general.
Prayer has transformed my spiritual life. Not the act of praying, but the connection to the one I pray to. I find that the more I pray, the deeper my relationship with God becomes. I become more sensitive to his will and his leading. It also deepens my time reading his word. I take the attitude that prayer is my communication to God and his word is communication from God.
I urge you to develop habits of intimacy with God through prayer. In my 43 years as a Christian, I’ve never met anyone who regretted spending more time in prayer. Remember: God never reveals the deep things of the spirit to the person who just drops by for a little chat. Just like any relationship, time and intentionality translate to intimacy. If you want an intimate relationship with God, then you must spend time with him. That means prayer.
